The Awkward Kitten

I mention the awkward kitten in the About Me section, and I'm sure it left you wondering what the heck I meant by that. If so... good! My plan to keep you reading worked.
It all started on Spring Break this year ( I capitalize in reverence to the college holiday that is Spring Break... ) . We had a house in Destin, FL of 26 of my sorority sisters. Needless to say it was a shitshow. Our school has Spring Break a little earlier than the majority of the schools, so that week Destin consisted of our school, a few other schools sprinkled in there, and old people. My group of friends wanted to meet new people instead of hanging out with the same old people we see every weekend at school, so we ventured out. Every morning we would drink a little, put on our teeny weeny bikinis, and strut the beach looking for prospects for that night. We met some fine-ass lacrosse players from South Carolina, Hunter and Zach (the only ones worth remembering), and made plans to see them later that night. Their house ended up being only a block a way from ours, so that was convenient.
Later that night, we show up at their house, and realize that half of their house consisted of girls. We were kind of pissed because we didn't want to have to make friends and we weren't wanting to have any competition that night. Long story short, the guys end up having terrible personalities (but still... pretty faces) and my group of friends I went with end up becoming besties with the girls in the house. We joke about how Zach has NO personality whatsoever, and Hunter's stunning good looks are wasted on him because of his acute shyness. And then... it happened.
Let me explain something really quick. My group of friends is obsessed with two things: cats and Ke$ha. Like unhealthily obsessed. We reference them whenever we can.
Continuing on. The South Carolina girls start pretend cleaning themselves like a cat. Not like leg up licking their crotch or anything weird like that, but licking their "paw" and cleaning their head. We start dying laughing because we always meow at each other and do weird stuff like that. We ask them what they're doing (as if we need an explanation) and they say that its called the "awkward kitten". We're intrigued.
"Awkward kitten? What's that?" We ask. Turns out, the "awkward kitten"is similar to the awkward turtle, where you do a discreet hand-signal when you're in an awkward situation so a friend can come get you out of it. The beauty of the awkward kitten though, is that its not discreet AT ALL. Used mostly in going-out situations, if a guy comes up to you who is unattractive, awkward, or is maybe just wearing bad jeans, you act like a kitten, lick your paw, and walk away.
This accomplishes three very important things:

1. It gets you out of talking to whoever you're talking to.
2. It warns your friends to not get stuck with that person.
3. Unless the person has some weird cat- fetish, it makes them think you're weird or crazy (or a cat) and most likely, they'll keep their distance for the rest of the night

Anyways, the guys at South Carolina ended up sucking, the girls were awesome, and we got really drunk later and stole their beer bong and ran home at 5 in the morning.

Well, thats the "awkward kitten" for you. I hope my explanation was sufficient. Use it wisely.

xoxo,
MoniLake